Don't get me wrong technology can be an absolute godsend in certain situations. It has brought people together, given people the social platforms to speak their mind and more importantly given people to confidence to speak out. I am an absolute slave to the "what are you doing right now?" texts, constantly hoping there's a spontaneous trip waiting to be pitched. This spontaneity would've been virtually impossible to recreate in the early 1800's. Technology could even be argued as one of the most used sources of information at the moment. Kids don't think "let's look this up in a book", they just say "I'll google it". I don't think there is anything wrong with that. Every search develops people's knowledge that one bit further.
The problems I have with technology revolve around the communication aspect of it all. We have become accustomed towanting EXPECTING instant responses. And when no reply comes through, there is such negativity created merely from a simple assumption.
"They don't like me."
"She's mad at me."
"They hate me."
All these assumptions cause so much potential drama that ultimately could've been avoided if we were just a bit more mindful. Texting is the main culprit of this nowadays with the read receipts and times given when someone was last online. There is no time to think and compose ourselves. No time to think about the implications of what we are going to say. Sometimes there isn't even enough time to form a proper sentence. If we did take the time, we could upset someone or be seen as rude. Everything is in the heat of the moment. I don't know about you but I want friendships in my life where we don't have to text for a week and still know the bond is strong.
It is not just the absence of replies that can spiral into a deep mess of miscommunication and upset, it is the way people compose their messages.
"Wow they're being blunt."
"They must be pissed off."
"I don't think they're interested in this conversation."
People read the messages and instantly assume that how they read the text is how the text was intended. There is such a disconnection. There are no tone of voices and no facial expressions to go off. Communication is very complex and I think it is very difficult to fully get across the exact message you want via a few pixels on a screen.
There is almost a need to continue a conversation 24 hours a day for multiple days on end. Since when is that natural? I find the truest relationships I have with my dearest friends and family are the ones where we want sit in silence and just be content with each other's company. Texting doesn't let you appreciate someone's presence. It forces conversation and small talk which ultimately isn't needed.
I've gone on about texting specifically for a while now, opening up a large wormhole of emotion, but there is more to technology than that. Social media also has a dark side. The constant comparison people make to others.
"She has the perfect life!!"
"He didn't like my photo, I'm not attractive enough"
"Only 14 likes! I'll delete it, it's not good."
There is an obsession with knowing what others are doing without asking them directly. There is an obsession with likes, comments, replies, believing we are worthy enough if we "just reach the 100 like milestone!!". Likes on a photo does NOTHING for your self esteem. If anything, it can open up an unhealthy fixation with expecting better each time and assuming we are not good enough when it doesn't. Online platforms allow people to expose the parts of their lives they want. Done correctly, there is nothing wrong with this. There is absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to share a moment you've enjoyed with others. There is absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to post a photo of your body. We can do whatever we want. The problem lies in the assumptions made by the audience, that the posts uploaded are the be all and end all of someone's life. Every person has something they wouldn't want exposed and we need to remind ourselves of that.
Recently on twitter, Emma Mercury had posted "if they make you feel bad about yourself, unfollow them" and I think this is one of the best pieces of advice out there.
If you find yourself comparing your body to the perfect bikini photo on your timeline, unfollow them. If you find yourself comparing your life to the perfect road trips and holidays put on your timeline, unfollow them.
If you find yourself saying "I'm nothing compared to that" or "wow I wish I was them!!", unfollow them.
Each life is unique and we need to appreciate that instead of belittling our own.
I respect not everyone will do the things listed above or even have thought others would but from experience I know how common it is. The problems I have all revolve around assumptions.
I was talking to a friend and she described it as "tech-know-logy" or "tech-no-logy". The decision is ours to make.
The problems I have with technology revolve around the communication aspect of it all. We have become accustomed to
"They don't like me."
"She's mad at me."
"They hate me."
All these assumptions cause so much potential drama that ultimately could've been avoided if we were just a bit more mindful. Texting is the main culprit of this nowadays with the read receipts and times given when someone was last online. There is no time to think and compose ourselves. No time to think about the implications of what we are going to say. Sometimes there isn't even enough time to form a proper sentence. If we did take the time, we could upset someone or be seen as rude. Everything is in the heat of the moment. I don't know about you but I want friendships in my life where we don't have to text for a week and still know the bond is strong.
It is not just the absence of replies that can spiral into a deep mess of miscommunication and upset, it is the way people compose their messages.
"Wow they're being blunt."
"They must be pissed off."
"I don't think they're interested in this conversation."
People read the messages and instantly assume that how they read the text is how the text was intended. There is such a disconnection. There are no tone of voices and no facial expressions to go off. Communication is very complex and I think it is very difficult to fully get across the exact message you want via a few pixels on a screen.
There is almost a need to continue a conversation 24 hours a day for multiple days on end. Since when is that natural? I find the truest relationships I have with my dearest friends and family are the ones where we want sit in silence and just be content with each other's company. Texting doesn't let you appreciate someone's presence. It forces conversation and small talk which ultimately isn't needed.
I've gone on about texting specifically for a while now, opening up a large wormhole of emotion, but there is more to technology than that. Social media also has a dark side. The constant comparison people make to others.
"She has the perfect life!!"
"He didn't like my photo, I'm not attractive enough"
"Only 14 likes! I'll delete it, it's not good."
There is an obsession with knowing what others are doing without asking them directly. There is an obsession with likes, comments, replies, believing we are worthy enough if we "just reach the 100 like milestone!!". Likes on a photo does NOTHING for your self esteem. If anything, it can open up an unhealthy fixation with expecting better each time and assuming we are not good enough when it doesn't. Online platforms allow people to expose the parts of their lives they want. Done correctly, there is nothing wrong with this. There is absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to share a moment you've enjoyed with others. There is absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to post a photo of your body. We can do whatever we want. The problem lies in the assumptions made by the audience, that the posts uploaded are the be all and end all of someone's life. Every person has something they wouldn't want exposed and we need to remind ourselves of that.
Recently on twitter, Emma Mercury had posted "if they make you feel bad about yourself, unfollow them" and I think this is one of the best pieces of advice out there.
If you find yourself comparing your body to the perfect bikini photo on your timeline, unfollow them. If you find yourself comparing your life to the perfect road trips and holidays put on your timeline, unfollow them.
If you find yourself saying "I'm nothing compared to that" or "wow I wish I was them!!", unfollow them.
Each life is unique and we need to appreciate that instead of belittling our own.
I respect not everyone will do the things listed above or even have thought others would but from experience I know how common it is. The problems I have all revolve around assumptions.
Follow one of the four agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz and "Don't Make Assumptions". As he puts it: "Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness and drama." I think we can all apply this to technology in one way or another.
I was talking to a friend and she described it as "tech-know-logy" or "tech-no-logy". The decision is ours to make.
