Yesterday I carried out my usual night routine: got into bed, grabbed my very worn-in notebook, trusty black pen and started writing. I usually scribble down anything that comes to mind whether that be a long essay about a global crisis or small doodles of trees intertwining between each other across the page. Either way it's my form of escapism. I was midway through when my phone lit up. A text from a friend. I felt compelled to reply instantly; breaking the connection I'd developed between my thoughts and the page. The stillness had gone and it suddenly hit me. Why had I let a lump of metal and plastic ruin the one hour of clarity I take a day for myself? 

Don't get me wrong technology can be an absolute godsend in certain situations. It has brought people together, given people the social platforms to speak their mind and more importantly given people to confidence to speak out. I am an absolute slave to the "what are you doing right now?" texts, constantly hoping there's a spontaneous trip waiting to be pitched. This spontaneity would've been virtually impossible to recreate in the early 1800's. Technology could even be argued as one of the most used sources of information at the moment. Kids don't think "let's look this up in a book", they just say "I'll google it". I don't think there is anything wrong with that. Every search develops people's knowledge that one bit further.

The problems I have with technology revolve around the communication aspect of it all. We have become accustomed to wanting EXPECTING instant responses. And when no reply comes through, there is such negativity created merely from a simple assumption.



"They don't like me."
"She's mad at me."
"They hate me."




All these assumptions cause so much potential drama that ultimately could've been avoided if we were just a bit more mindful. Texting is the main culprit of this nowadays with the read receipts and times given when someone was last online. There is no time to think and compose ourselves. No time to think about the implications of what we are going to say. Sometimes there isn't even enough time to form a proper sentence. If we did take the time, we could upset someone or be seen as rude. Everything is in the heat of the moment. I don't know about you but I want friendships in my life where we don't have to text for a week and still know the bond is strong.

It is not just the absence of replies that can spiral into a deep mess of miscommunication and upset, it is the way people compose their messages.



"Wow they're being blunt."
"They must be pissed off."
"I don't think they're interested in this conversation."



People read the messages and instantly assume that how they read the text is how the text was intended. There is such a disconnection. There are no tone of voices and no facial expressions to go off. Communication is very complex and I think it is very difficult to fully get across the exact message you want via a few pixels on a screen.

There is almost a need to continue a conversation 24 hours a day for multiple days on end. Since when is that natural? I find the truest relationships I have with my dearest friends and family are the ones where we want sit in silence and just be content with each other's company. Texting doesn't let you appreciate someone's presence. It forces conversation and small talk which ultimately isn't needed.

I've gone on about texting specifically for a while now, opening up a large wormhole of emotion, but there is more to technology than that. Social media also has a dark side. The constant comparison people make to others.



"She has the perfect life!!"
"He didn't like my photo, I'm not attractive enough"
"Only 14 likes! I'll delete it, it's not good."




There is an obsession with knowing what others are doing without asking them directly. There is an obsession with likes, comments, replies, believing we are worthy enough if we "just reach the 100 like milestone!!". Likes on a photo does NOTHING for your self esteem. If anything, it can open up an unhealthy fixation with expecting better each time and assuming we are not good enough when it doesn't. Online platforms allow people to expose the parts of their lives they want. Done correctly, there is nothing wrong with this. There is absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to share a moment you've enjoyed with others. There is absolutely nothing wrong with  wanting to post a photo of your body. We can do whatever we want. The problem lies in the assumptions made by the audience, that the posts uploaded are the be all and end all of someone's life. Every person has something they wouldn't want exposed and we need to remind ourselves of that.

Recently on twitter, Emma Mercury had posted "if they make you feel bad about yourself, unfollow them" and I think this is one of the best pieces of advice out there.

If you find yourself comparing your body to the perfect bikini photo on your timeline, unfollow them. If you find yourself comparing your life to the perfect road trips and holidays put on your timeline, unfollow them.
If you find yourself saying "I'm nothing compared to that" or "wow I wish I was them!!", unfollow them.

Each life is unique and we need to appreciate that instead of belittling our own.

I respect not everyone will do the things listed above or even have thought others would but from experience I know how common it is. The problems I have all revolve around assumptions.

Follow one of the four agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz and "Don't Make Assumptions". As he puts it: "Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness and drama." I think we can all apply this to technology in one way or another. 

I was talking to a friend and she described it as "tech-know-logy" or "tech-no-logy". The decision is ours to make.

I recently went on road trip to visit a friend. I documented it all and this is the final result. Enjoy!

Here is a photo diary:

I used to be one of those people who could never just be on their own but the more time goes on, the more I've grown, it's become apparent how important alone time truly is. 

It seems like so many people cannot be content on their own, whether that's physically or emotionally. WHY? Where has this notion in society that we NEED, MUST HAVE, MUST BE IN CONTACT with other people come from?

Human interaction is incredibly important for growth but alone time is crucial. The ability to physically sit on your own and just think allows us to explore our own thoughts, feelings, ideas. We need to sit back and ask ourselves "now what do I want from my life? what are MY goals?". It was only from doing this that I have actually discovered all the things I forgot I used to love like painting, writing, reading. We get so caught up in staying busy to try keep others happy and run away from the dreaded "overthinking" that I feel we forget to take a step back and just calm down.

We have one mind. Why not try to get to know it? Explore the things that makes us happy, makes us cry. Create goals for the future, whether they are for the next 24 hours or the next 24 years. Focus our energy and effort into making ourselves as happy as we want the people around us to be. It's only from doing this that we can get the best from ourselves and ultimately lead the most fulfilled life possible. 

You might even find people with similar passions and characters will gravitate towards you. Relationships might improve. There will no longer be the unhealthy dependency on others. No more sadness from an unanswered text or a cancelled event. We are whole without others; they add to our lives, not complete them. Developing unconditional self-acceptance can completely alter the way we look at situations. I no longer immediately jump to blaming myself. It is from downtime I can sit and say "It's okay, I am good.". 

We are powerful enough to do anything we want; we just need to find out what it is we want from our lives.

Ideas For Downtime:

• Turn off the phone
• Head to your favourite place in the world - mine is the beach
• Read your favourite books
• Listen to your favourite songs 
• Keep a journal - any thoughts or ideas you get, write them down
• Draw
• Meditate 
• Exercise

Nowadays people live in fear. People are so fearful they censor their true thoughts and feelings. We are so scared it prevents us telling people how we feel, telling someone if something isn't right, we don't even express positive emotion.

It needs to be acceptable to speak out. We repeat the same mundane things on social platforms that should be used for important issues.

Small talk is mundane, repetitive, impersonal.

Talk about things that matter, that will still matter in years to come, that could affect the planet.

Ask important questions. Don't be fearful of offending, of sounding stupid. Ask questions that have the answers you truly want to know. Get personal.

Talk about topics you are passionate about.

Fuck the fear and talk about things that matter to you.